Personal Hugging Rules

[affreca]

Today's random preoccupation with societal rules is hugging. Partially because of a scene in CSI, partially because of a hug, and partially because of an article about Swedes. When are you OK with hugging? I personally love getting hugs/hugging, but am usually to shy to initiate. Because I don't know where other people's rules are, and I don't want to suggest more of a relationship than the other person is offering.

See, I know many people are reluctant about touch, sometimes for good reasons. And a lot of harm can be done with unexpected, violent hugging (glomping in animecon terms). But I like contact. My social skills were mostly imprinted on me in high school, hanging out with a coed touchy group. And then I went to college and my friends were grouped by gender - female roomates and male gaming buds. I mostly touched boyfriends.

Post college I was in an environment with even less touching, as everyone would was afraid of it being misconstrued and I didn't have a boyfriend. So, it's OK to hug me. I might even get confident to hug back.

Comments

[singingnettle.livejournal.com]

I'll tolerate hugs from people I don't know, as opposed to when I was young and had a lot more PTSD stuff and would respond by slamming my elbows into their gut, but I don't much like hugging unless I know and like someone. For me, it's a gesture of affection, and feeling affection for someone requires that I actually know them. Ecstatic hugs that last for ten minutes just annoy me unless I actually love the hugger.

I grew up in NYC, which has stringent social rules about personal space because the population density is so high that we sort of make virtual privacy by not looking at or touching each other. Even in huggy Seattle, some of that remains with me.

Oh, no!

[mouseking.livejournal.com]

I gotta get glasses. I just saw it as " . . .unexpected, violent humping"

Maybe I can use this as an excuse to get a bigger monitor . . . hmmmmmmm . . . ^__^