Still Alive

[affreca]

And feeling better. Just dealing with my normal problems with multiple deadlines. I have free time, but stuff to do. So nothing gets done. Well, back of the brain thinking about my GIS project/thesis proposal. Which has a deadline, so I should be working on harder. Instead of reading lots of urban fantasy. You know, the stuff with werewolves in Toronto (why are there so many urban fantasy's in Toronto.. I can think of three authors/series partially set in Toronto off the top of my head - Tanya Huff's Blood series, Kelley Armstrong's Women of the Otherworld and De Lint's Jack books..) or elves in NY. A particular favorite trope of mine. Probably why I'm such a fan of WoD (and even read the novels.. to many of them, I have no taste).

And internet surfing. Read wikipedia's featured article about albatrosses, which led me to Rime of the Ancient Mariner. I was confused why albatrosses are such a powerful image considering they aren't in the N. Atlantic (where most European sailors would be). Turns out it is a fairly modern idea. Hmm... Which lead me to reading Kubla Khan, and realizing than even though I'm not particularly educated in poetry (dude.. I took science classes.. lots of them), because of my wide reading in sci-fi/fantasy, I recognize lots of lines (many from book titles, or quotes at the beginning of chapters). Not a new feeling, I remember being surprised in high school Brit Lit when I ran across "To His Coy Mistress", a poem I'd never heard of, but knew half the lines to. "Had we but world enough, and time" Powerful, I tell you. Maybe sometime I'll get over my issues with poetry. I think it has something to do with how I read. I'm a skimmer. I don't hear each world in my head when I read, usually, but poetry demands it. And unless it is great, I get annoyed with the slowness and skip it. I'm a heathen, I know. I also don't like most modern art, and have only recently realized I can enjoy art museums.

Also, had a spate of thinking about childern. Don't worry, I haven't developed an urge to have them. Just trying to decide what my position on them and feminism is. See, Casey's preggers again (her timing seems to always be a few months behind Erin, who is also about to have child number two). I'm happy for her, as she is a good mother (with a good man for a coparent), but makes me think about when I'll be ready. And I ran into Tina right before my quarentine (I hugged her, before I remembered I thought I had the mumps... hopefully she's fine). See, Tina was my babysitter for 7 years, and had two kids my age. Sort of another mother figure, who I admire for being a single, carless parent with two big jobs (daycare and teaching English at KU). Chatted, and found out what she and her kids are up to. And asked when I was going to have kids or get married. Hmm.. mental dissonce. See, those are questions my family doesn't ask, yet pop culture tells me they should. Not saying I want them to (I like to think they understand me well enough, 'specially when they get this wonderful blog entry into my mind). And then reading lots various feminist and childfree blogs.

See, how much support should our society give parents? On one hand, I believe we have a slight overpopulation issue. But maybe that is starting to correct itself, as birth rates go down in the first world, and more countries get richer. But what about those that aren't? On the other hand, we can't all stop breeding. Extinction comes quickly (and as much as I dislike talking about it, I like my culture, and it should continue). I don't like fertility treatments, I know that much. There are plenty of childern out there to raise, you don't need genetic ones. Love transcends genetics. And I support people wanting to raise childern in "alternative" famlies. I also support having birth control options (temporary and permeanant), sex ed and abortions readily available, as I don't believe in abstinence as a long term viable option. But what sort of concessions to make for parents. Making changing tables common in bathrooms (male and female), yes.

So I'm thinking, instead of doing school work. And trying to limit cabin fever.

Comments

[ninja-tech.livejournal.com]

While your contemplation on the support parents should get is interesting, I find myself thinking a whole lot about the topic of your second paragraph: when (if indeed ever) will I get married (I don't think this is a necessity at all) and have children (which I could do without getting married)? The strange thing is, is that this question does not often pop into my mind unbidden. Often, the only reason I ask myself these questions is because someone has inadvertantly made me feel abnormal by asking or hinting around the subject. I am also lucky that my family does not ask such questions. I believe their silence on the subject is probably due to the fact that they view me as "too driven" to get married or settle down for children. This is simply not true. It is true that I am driven, but I'm not driven to have children. The only other reason I ever think about it, is because some of my friends have started to get married and date seriously at the least. Some have even had children. This is when I begin to wonder if maybe I'm just not mature enough. I recently thought that I was too selfish to have a child - but I think that is being a little too hard on myself. I simply don't want one - yet. Maybe I never will. What makes me a bit angry is that women who have no urge to get married and have children (and are not afraid to show it) are seen as abnormal.

I have a cat - isn't that good enough? He acts like a child and I often scold him several times a day and have to pull him off/out of things he's not supposed to get into. I've had to 'cat-proof' (is there such a thing??) the apartment and he has trained me on what doors need to be shut while I am away or even when I am home.

Anywho - end my rant. I wish I had you on messenger or something because I think we could have a good discussion. :(

[affreca.livejournal.com]

Tell me when. I'm getting more stir crazy. I asked, and it turns out boyo had installed a messenger on this machine (I'd install stuff myself, but I keep forgetting what he has root set to, and I'm bad at installing software in linux). I've got it signed on under my yahoo account (normal login name).