Motivation

[affreca]

is lacking. And very confused. I had hoped to get started on THINGS THAT ARE DUE last week, and managed to distract myself very well. And I read books. Yesterday I breezed through my GIS labs and grading. And spent the night twitching, because I have two bugaboos staring at me. My thesis proposal and my GIS final project. Have I mentioned they deal with the same thing? Yeah. And so I'm doing other things right now, like prepping for teaching, enrolling in classes, hunting missing students and hunting down a thesis committee. And wonder what I'm doing to myself. I'm making myself into a nervous wreck, nervous about messing up so much doing is hard. It isn't a new trap, which almost makes it worse. I want to be a grown up, and able to handle it. So I've got stuff to get started, and talking to my GIS prof about my project tomorrow. It isn't using that much GIS and I don't think it is that interesting, and it should have been further before this. So don't be surprised if I drop out of grad school in the next week.